Renegade vs Real Life

I’ve been toying with the idea of crafting/blogging for my livelihood for a while now…and it looks like I’m going to be thrown into the deep end!  I’m a bit excited by this prospect.  Of course, I have what I’m calling the ‘Renegade vs Real Life’ debate inside my head.  Do I suck it up and get a ‘Real’ job or do I strike out and go ‘Renegade’ and carve out a meager existence through crafting, activism, writing, home-making, etc.

At the moment ‘Renegade’ is winning.  ‘Renegade’ has daydreamed the time-honored knitter dream for quite some time now.  It loves the idea of a natural rhythm, of potentially homeschooling and getting to hang out with little people all day.  Of coffee, a cleanish and somewhat organized house, clicking needles and good conversations with friends.  ‘Renegade’ has dreamed up blog posts of craft, feminism, power and privilege, and how all of these things can intermingle and touch the lives of those who either read, see, make, do, live, etc.

It’s still an idea in my head…but I wanted to put it out in writing.  Even if it never comes to pass, these are some of the things I dream and reflect upon and I hope someone takes comfort in knowing that they’re not alone in this dream idea.  I know that I personally am inspired when I read and see others making, doing, creating, thinking, and I am thankful for those voices.

There’s also the ‘Real Life’ part of my brain that thinks about food, mortgage, various bills, and luxuries.  That little voice is being surprisingly calm and rational and is asking the important business-y questions of the ‘Renegade’ side.  It asks about profit, time, realistic goals, logistics on technical skills, writing ability, actual reach in the world.  ‘Real’ wants to know if ‘Renegade’ is serious or still dreaming.  ‘Real’ is trying to remind me of my responsibilities.  But it’s also trying to rationalize for ‘Renegade’ and I’m more than a bit appreciative of the ‘Reals” perspective.

Both sides agree that we don’t want a ‘branded life’.  Neither wants to commercialize the little people or have a perfectly scrubbed, neat and clean, never messy window into a partial life.  Both sides agree that if this comes to pass that is will be honest, true, and dare I say ‘real’.  Maybe these two sides have already found their reconciliation and are just waiting for me to catch up?  Maybe…I just answered them both….


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