So I was taking a med for my ADHD. And I loved it. But it’s one of those meds you’re not ‘supposed’ to love because it’s a controlled substance and highly addictive, etc. And I don’t like to admit that I love/d it. It may be because of the stigma associated with it or because most of the time when I mention ADHD the reaction is often polite nods and patronizing smiles. We switched insurance companies recently and this one now requires ‘prior approval’ for my med. A quick google reveals that this process can be tedious and a mild pain in the ass or it is a full on circle jerk of a nightmare. You can guess which end of the spectrum I am experiencing since I’m bothering to write about it. Since I’m currently in ‘career transition’ (man, I REALLY hate that phrase) every penny counts, so out of pocket isn’t happening which means that for now I’m just not taking anything. It sucks. My head is really ‘loud’ again. It means a constant humming of word/images/ideas and the ability to see them whiz by but only occasionally being able to actually grab ahold of and put them to constructive use. It means word vomit at every turn instead of only occasionally. It means a house that’s a full on mess and losing random things and finding them in random places. It means giant amounts of coffee, daily exercise, a high protein diet. Maybe fish oil? Since this is the first time I’ve ever taken anything, this is the first time I’ve had to stop. Maybe in another couple of weeks I’ll look back on this as a blessing in disguise? A lesson that I can do it on my own and all the naysayers are right? In any case, I’m a little too proud to beg for my med…or any med for that matter. I’d rather white-knuckle through the shitty days than ask for approval for something It took months (years?!?) to even go to the doctor to ask for help regarding. I’m thankful that I can still function sans medication, but it makes me angry for those who really can’t. So that’s where I am right now. Angry. I’ll keep you posted.